Every few years, some celebrity will get on their bullhorn and proclaim that America has a sleeplessness epidemic. They’ll point to studies showing how bad it is to operate without sleep, or stress the importance of getting seven to nine hours before you drive to work every day.

This usually has the effect of making everyone quietly angry at that person, because we all *know* we need sleep. Some of us, it turns out, just have a hard time falling asleep or staying asleep — or work enough jobs where actually getting nine hours every night is damn near an impossibility.

Still, sleep is important, and now, TikTokers have taken to optimizing sleep through something they call “sleepmaxxing.” This is, as best I can tell, just sleeping the appropriate amount, though they’ll insist that real “sleepmaxxers” tape their mouths at night, consume magnesium and do a host of other things to ensure that they get prime sleep that us mere mortals will never understand.

C’mon, guys, just take a melatonin like the rest of us.